


It Started Out With A Dress, How Did It End Up Like This? (It Was Only A Dress, It Was Only A Dress)

by Idzzdi



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Booty Calls, Confusion, M/M, Meme, Meme based, THE DRESS, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 16:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3453497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idzzdi/pseuds/Idzzdi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick talks on the radio about <em>the dress</em> being black and blue and Louis texts Nick saying it's white and gold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Started Out With A Dress, How Did It End Up Like This? (It Was Only A Dress, It Was Only A Dress)

**Author's Note:**

> Well...
> 
> The dress thing is getting out of hand and I saw a thing on tumblr about a Nick/Louis 'fight' about it, so I thought I had to write it. There was no other concept beside making it about that stupid meme, so it's a kind of pointless story. Also it's lacking smut, because I SUCK at writing smut, even though this story would actually heavyly need it. (Can I get a ghost smut writer? Is that a thing? Or can it be a cooperation? Anybody interested?)
> 
> (I don't need to mention what the title is from, do I?)

It's a stupid internet meme that's gone viral, so obviously the have to pick it up on the show. The dress. _The_ dress.

“Black and blue or gold and white? The question to split a nation!” Nick narrates dramatically before introducing the whole problem at hand for those listeners who have been living under a rock and don't know about the picture just yet.

“Now, there's a picture of this really, _really_..” Nick says, trailing off slowly.

“Hideous?” Ian puts in helpfully.

“I was gonna say beautiful, but hideous does just fine, I believe. So this dress, which is rather not so pretty has gone viral, but that's not the point. The point is the color!” Nick pauses for a moment, turns the background music up a notch and adjusts the headphones over his ears.

“You'd think from looking at the picture, people could that this dress is clearly black and blue-!” Nick exclaims, getting interrupted right away from cries in the background.

“It's not!” Matt says with a laugh, giving Nick a challenging look.

“It is,” Fiona agrees, shaking her head fondly, because _god_ , they've gone over this a million times already and it's just past eight.

“So as you can tell there's been a bit of banter I'd say, yeah? Good natured banter, over this,” Nick continues lightly, laughing at Matt's sour expression.

“What you're trying to say is that I've been getting bullied by you lot all morning.”

“We're just kindly trying to set up a doctor's appointment for you to have your eyes checked out, Finchy,” Nick says with another laugh, giving Matt a quick wink. “Anyway,” he continues loudly and cuts off any further comments Matt may have had on the topic.

“If you haven't seen the picture yet go to bbc.com slash radio 1 or stalk us on twitter for a bit to check out the picture. Text in what color _you_ see at 81199 _and_ also definitely check out the poll we set up on our Facebook page, because we want to prove to Finchy that he's just the odd one out.”

“'m not the odd one out!” Matt claims again, scrunching his nose up. “Kim Kardashian sees it white and gold, too.”

“Oh well if _Kim Kardashian_ says so,” Nick says, laughing again and fading in the next track, announcing it quickly before turning off all the microphones.

“I'll see if I get can get someone from the London eye clinic on the line then, shall I?” Ian prompts, already dialing away on the phone by his desk. “See if they can explain it for ordinary people, yeah?”

Everybody makes vague noises of agreement and Ian is on the line with them a moment later, when Nick is looking through the next couple of links and lines up the necessary tracks. He's barely gotten two more tracks in line before his phone lights up, half hidden between stashes of paper on Nick's desk. He's never been a particularly tidy one.

Nick takes a curious look at the screen, not really planing on reading the text, but he's trying to asses the urgency of the message. He kind of expects it to be from Pixie or Henry, asking to go out for drinks later or maybe from Harry who has been in LA for quite some time and probably only just now figured out that he's been driving on the wrong side of the road the entire time.

What he doesn't expect is a message from Louis Tomlinson of all people. Nick wasn't even aware that he had his number programmed into his phone. (Yes, okay. Yes, he was.)

 

_it's white gold jesus christ_

 

Nick stares at the text for a long moment. Well then, that Tomlinson kid could really be _so precious._ Half confused Nick does the next link and chats with Matt and Fiona some more about the dress, already announcing that they will be talking with someone from the eye clinic in a couple of minutes, when Ian finishes his phone call mid-link giving Nick a thumbs up. By the time the link is done the screen of Nick's phone has already gone black again.

 

_just nick is fine, love_

 

Nick knows he's being complicated. But that's the whole point isn't it? Louis surely didn't text in to have a nice conversation starter. Thinking about it, why _did_ Louis text in?

 

_haha you're so funny i'm having an aneurysm_

 

And yeah, Nick can be plenty funny when he wants to be. He just doesn't want to be. He wants to be annoying, because that's what he's best at and that also mostly saves him from possibly getting into any awkward situations. If you'd asked Nick an hour ago texting Louis Tomlinson at all would have been one of those situations, but well. Things change, people change. Or so Nick tells himself.

 

_better go lay down for a bit then_

 

With every text Nick sends he's 90% certain that this text will be the last of their conversation, but somehow it isn't. Strangely enough he's having just that – a conversation. An actual _conversation_ with Louis Tomlinson. It's a bit strange and a lot unexpected, but not at all unpleasant like he's expected (aside from the uneasy feeling in Nick's chest).

It's distracting enough that he forgets to give Matt shit about the colors he sees in the dress during the next link he does.

 

_i just might........_

 

_that is if I don't die....._

 

Nick rolls his eyes at his phone, huffs but dodges all the interested looks the others are shooting him with a dismissive hand gesture. Fine if Louis wants to play, Nick can play as well.

 

_you poor thing. poor filthy rich popstar. want me to come check on you?_

 

Nick sends the text, swearing it's dripping with sarcasm. It _obviously_ is. Louis is a bit a annoying, but not dense, right? He'll get it, Nick is sure he will.

Except he doesn't.

 

_yes please_

 

Nick stares for a long moment. Then he just puts his phone down beside him, thankful for the couple of callers they have and then the doctor from the eye clinic, trying to explain how the reception of light waves in the rod receptors of the human's retina works differently for different people and bla bla bla. There's a reason Nick has taken up a profession that has as little to do with biology as possible. He's really only doing mankind a favor.

He rounds it off nicely though, thanking all the callers and the doctor and announcing the next track. Only when all the microphones are turned off does he dare to pick up his phone again.

He frowns as he types and erases everything again. Louis wasn't supposed to say yes. And he certainly wasn't supposed to say please on top of that. Louis must be playing, still.

 

_be careful what you wish for_

 

That's going to be the end, Nick is pretty sure. Louis is going to text something flippant or offhand or nothing at all, so that's it. End of discussion. End of..

 

_i think i know what i want_

 

Louis _must_ still be playing, right? He must be.

 

_and what is it that you want?_

 

Nick sends it and only then realizes that his text could be understood majorly flirty. It's not, obviously. Not even a bit. He's very seriously wondering what it could possibly be that Louis Tomlinson of all people wants from him.

Nick sits on the edge of his chair for the next couple of minutes, even more jittery during the links, tapping his foot nervously on the ground during the tracks. He feels uneasy when Louis doesn't reply for very long twenty minutes.

Matt brings up the dress again during a track, reporting on currents stats of the Facebook poll and Nick remembers that the whole dress color thing was what started this thing in the first place. It's a bit weird.

When Nick checks his phone again he does have a text waiting on him. It's not from Louis though, it's from Harry.

 

_lou just texted to ask if you weren't farmiliar with the concept of a bootycall? what's going on???_

 

Nick blinks slowly at the text in front of him, letting out a breath of air in something in between a sigh and a laugh, shaking his head. Their entire band, seriously. _Kids_.

 

_that's what i'd like to know_

 

He takes screenshots of his and Louis' conversation and sends the pictures to Harry, attached to the message, but only gets laughing emojis in return.

 

_it's not funny!! what do i do???_

 

Harry only sends more laughing emojis in return and even some of the emoji that's crying tears of laughter. It's really not _that_ funny. Nick understands that objectively this is probably a bit funny, from an outsiders perspective maybe. Unfortunately for Nick however, he isn't an outsider, but right in the middle of all of this.

He makes it through the rest of the show. Not without thinking about Louis or their weird conversation again, but he makes it. Towards the end of the show his thoughts trail off to just what exactly Harry had meant about Nick not understanding the concept of a bootycall, and that certainly is distracting enough that Nick is fairly glad when he finally gets off air and out off the studio.

He's heading towards his car, his phone still his hand rather absentmindedly scrolling through his contacts and hitting _call_ on Louis' name. It rings four times before Louis picks up; just enough time to let Nick figure out that he has absolutely no idea what to say or why he called in the first place.

“So?” Louis says as he picks up, in lieu of a greeting.

“Hi?” Nick says, because that's always a good start.

“Yeah, hi,” Louis says, sounding cool and distracted, but a bit higher than usually so Nick doesn't let Louis fool him.

“Harry said you tried to bootycall me?” Nick says, trying to sound as confident as possible. Offense is the best defense after all. As he hears himself say it out loud though, he realizes it sounds a bit stupid. Nick scowls and Louis laughs.

“Emphasis on _tried_ , I'd say.”

“Right,” Nick agrees tonelessly. This phone call is pointless, what was he thinking?

“So?” Louis asks again, like he did in the beginning of their phone call and Nick only just now realizes that Louis is actually expecting an answer from him.

“You're not being serious, are you?” he asks, somewhere between wonder and surprise. It's quiet for a moment and Nick thinks he might have offended Louis, so he tacks on: “I mean.. we never even talk to each other.”

“We're talking right now?” Louis says, sounding confused.

“Yeah, but,” Nick frowns again, still largely confused. “Okay, so we're rarely ever talking and you just want me to come over now, like, and just.. _do_ you?”

“Well, not if it's too much trouble,” Louis says largely, huffing out a breath. He's being sarcastic now and Nick is still only standing beside his car, staring into blank space like he's gone mad. The silence drags on for a bit, until Louis snaps.

“I was only _offering_ , you know. No need to get your knickers in a twist, okay?” he says harshly, then a bit more quiet “But obviously you're not interested, so forget this ever happened-”

“Hold on,” Nick interrupts. “I never said I wasn't.. interested, like. Um..” he trails off again, running his free hand though his hair and down his face.

“Just.. you texted me about a _dress_ and now you're asking me to come over.”

“Yeah,” Louis says easily. “And about that dress, seriously. If you think that thing is actually black and blue I think we have a whole other discussion ahead of us.”

“It _is_ black and blue. But I'd be happy to convince you of that and, you know, show you my ways,” he tags on an inappropriate eyebrow wiggle Louis can't see and then, goes a bit red with shame, because that was a very low bow, even for him.

“Alright, Grimshaw,” Louis says and he sounds like he's rolling his eyes or at least raising his eyebrows. “Text you the details, see you in a bit, yeah?”

“'kay,” Nick agrees, trying to remember if he still has a pack of smokes in his glovebox. He feels like he needs one.

“And it's white and gold,” Louis says, snickering quietly. Nick tries to protest, but all he gets in return is a monotone beeping signal when Louis promptly hangs up on him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Any thoughts? Kudos or comments, maybe?
> 
> :) :) :)
> 
> Find me on tumblr --> hannahazza.tumblr.com
> 
> PS: Anybody thought about the smut ghost writer thing?


End file.
